Am I Called to be Single?

Am I Called to be Single?


By Robyn Roste
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For some reason (culturally, religiously, or otherwise), the fact that I am single, never been married, and 30, makes people uncomfortable.

The most common question I field is: why?

Why are you single? Can’t you find a suitable husband? Is there something wrong with you? Are you called to be single?

To which I respond with silence. Or, “I don’t know.”

I’ve never related my singleness to a spiritual calling, but I know some people do. To me, thinking I’m specifically called to be single or married doesn’t compute—aren’t there more significant things in life than my Facebook relationship status? People don’t necessarily think all the other aspects of my life are a calling, but being single at 30 seems to require an explanation. I doubt many of my married friends field questions on whether or not their marriage is a calling.

Generally, I try not to think too much about it. I don’t feel a distracting desire to be married—no longings to celebrate Valentine’s Day with that special someone. But I might one day, and then I guess I will approach it differently. Until then, I’m more than content to not worry and serve God exactly as I am, in this time and place. Regardless of whom I’m dating, seeing, married to, or not.

Don’t misunderstand: I think marriage is a great thing. I also think being single is a great thing. But I don’t think one or the other is more important or special and should not be something I focus on.

Of course, this is further complicated by the recent engagement of my much younger sister. Since then the questions have changed to: “Now are you feeling pressure to get married?”

With all the pressure, I find comfort in Scripture passages like Psalm 32:8: “The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.’”

The idea of a specific calling to be single or married is neat, but the way I see it, God is with me for every step of my life. He has given me freedom to make my own decisions and walk my own path. He doesn’t force me to do things, or condemn me for making mistakes. My desire is to be fully used by God in whatever capacity he sees fit. I want to see needs and meet them, to communicate the Truth of Scripture to those who do not know it, and to go as soon as I hear Him call. In that context, doesn’t my marital status seem…unimportant?