Your most important personality trait

Your most important personality trait

A Self Magazine article

MY NOTE:  This is not a Christian article, but it spoke to me at this time when God has given me this message several times.

I believe the #1 most important trait you can possess is empathy. Empathy means the ability to perceive others' thoughts and feelings and to respond appropriately--or, put simply, being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes. We're social creatures who need to connect with others to feel happy and healthy, and empathy is the key to human connection. The more you can understand someone else's perspective, the more you can relate to and feel close to them and, in turn, treat them with compassion and kindness. 

We all vary in our level of empathy. At one extreme end of the spectrum are sociopaths, who lack all empathy and don't express regret for committing crimes that the rest of us find atrocious (i.e. murder, rape). Some people have conditions such as autism that limit their empathy and make it more difficult to connect with others. The rest of us fall somewhere along the spectrum: We're not all Mother Teresas, acutely sensitive to human suffering and devoting our lives to serving others, but most of us possess enough empathy to interact with others and form close friendships and romantic bonds.

I read an interesting new study showing that depression chips away at your empathy, limiting your ability to be sensitive to your partner's feelings. Even more surprising is that if you're depressed, your partner is less empathetic too. That's a big problem, because mutual understanding is the foundation of intimacy, so this reduced empathy can really cause distance and have a harmful effect on a relationship. So, here's yet another reason it's so important to seek out help if you think you're depressed. The American Psychological Association">The American Psychological Association is an excellent resource to find out more about the signs and symptoms of depression, and search for a therapist. 

Curious how empathetic you are? You can find out! Simon Baron-Cohen (the brother of actor Sasha Baron-Cohen) is a professor of Developmental Psychopathology at The University of Cambridge">Developmental Psychopathology at The University of Cambridge, and he has developed an empathy scale where you can check out your level. 

Try these three strategies to become more empathetic: 

1. Spend time with people who are different than you to expose yourself to a range of perspectives and outlooks. 

2. Try volunteering. By helping others, you'll better understand where they're coming from. 

3. Keep up with current events. Tuning in to what's going on in the world around you will broaden your outlook and clue you in to the diversity of opinions and situations beyond yourself.