Anointed to Bring Deliverance

Anointed to Bring Deliverance 

by Joice Meyer 

The Spirit of the Lord [is] upon Me, because He has anointed Me [the Anointed one, the Messiah] to preach the good news (the Gospel) to the poor; He has sent Me to announce release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to send forth as delivered those who are oppressed [who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken down by calamity], to proclaim the accepted and acceptable year of the Lord [the day when salvation and the free favors of God profusely abound].
—Luke 4:18-19

Almost every time I finish speaking at a meeting, people come to me with sad stories of abuse and pain. I understand and often I hurt with them. I understand because I've been there. In my book Battlefield of the Mind, I referred to some of that dysfunctional background.

I point that out because in the past, I have used my background as an excuse for not growing, for living in defeat, and for allowing Satan to control my mind.

"What else can you expect? Look where I came from." I've heard people talk that way. Perhaps it comforts them to think that whatever their past held will determine their present and their future. They have that choice if they want to believe that lie of Satan.

"Don't you know that God loves you, and that Jesus wants to deliver you from your past?" I ask. "Don't you realize that where you were is only the starting place? You can determine where you want to go and how you live your life." I can say those words because of my background, the truth I've found in God's Word, and the Lord's deliverance that I have experienced.

From the first public appearance of Jesus recorded in Luke's gospel, I learned something powerful and significant. Jesus went to the synagogue in His hometown of Nazareth, the leader handed Him the scroll of Isaiah, and Jesus read the words printed above. What the people there didn't understand was that what He was reading to them was describing Himself: "The Spirit of the Lord [is] upon Me . . . to announce release to the captives" (v. 18).

Isn't that what Jesus did then? Isn't that what Jesus does now? He said God had anointed Him for just that task. If that's true—and I don't doubt it for a second—do I really honor Jesus by remaining a captive? If Jesus received the anointing to deliver me, there can be only one of two possible results: He sets me free or He doesn't.

This is the battlefield of the mind, as I've been pointing out again and again. Jesus says, "He has anointed Me!" The devil asks, "Did God really anoint Jesus?"

Your deliverance (and mine) depends on which voice we listen to. If we listen to Jesus and believe Him, He says that deliverance is not only possible but it is a reality. If God anointed Jesus for that purpose, it means God empowered Him. Jesus came to open prison doors and set the captives free. You and I can't be set free until we start to believe it's possible. If you believe that God loves you, wants only the best for you, and has a perfect plan for your life, how can you doubt?

You may have had a terrible, sad, and abusive past, as I did. Thousands of others have worse childhoods than you had, but they received healing. The fourth chapter of Luke tells of another synagogue where Jesus went and ". . . there was a man who was possessed by the foul spirit of a demon" (4:33). Jesus set him free. Jesus did that because that's what the Lord does—He sets the prisoners free, and He'll also set you free.

Lord Jesus, You have been anointed to set me free. Forgive me for listening to Satan's voice that makes me feel I'm beyond help. You are the Deliverer. In Your holy name, I ask You to deliver me from everything that holds me back from fully and totally serving You. Amen.

From the book Battlefield of the Mind Devotional by Joyce Meyer. Copyright © 2006 by Joyce Meyer. Published by Warner Faith. All rights reserved.

Strongholds

Strongholds

By www.jesus-is-lord-the-way-the-truth-the-life.com's FaceBook page

And you shall make no covenant with the inhabitants of this land: you shall tear down their altars." But you have not obeyed My voice. Why have you done this? Therefore I also said, "I will not drive them out before you; but they shall be thorns in your side, and their gods shall be a snare to you." JUDGES ...2:2-3

"God gave the Israelites specific instructions: Drive the Canaanites out of every corner of the land, and obliterate any vestige of their abominable idol worship. This assignment was challenging! Their enemies had formidable chariots.

The Canaanites had seemingly impregnable fortresses that were dangerous and difficult to overcome. The Israelites failed to drive all the Canaanites from the land. Much about the Canaanite lifestyle and religion appealed to the Israelites' sinful nature. Rather than destroying them and their idolatry, Israel compromised. The Canaanites would prove to be a troublesome distraction to the Israelites. Their idol worship would present a constant temptation.

When you became a Christian, God declared war on sin's strongholds in your life. Sinful behaviors and attitudes were firmly entrenched in your character, but God commanded you to tear them down. The Holy Spirit pointed out areas of your life that were resistant to God's will. Were you tempted to merely establish a truce rather than obliterating every sin? Is anger one of sin's strongholds? If so, it will rise up against you in moments of weakness. Is there a stronghold of lust in your life? If so, you will succumb to it when caught off guard. In careless moments, these strongholds will still tempt you to continue your past sinful behaviors.

Do not underestimate the destructive power of sin. If there are strongholds in your life that you have never defeated, the Holy Spirit is still prepared to bring you complete victory."

Blackaby Ministries

Faithful in a Little

Faithful in a Little

By www.jesus-is-lord-the-way-the-truth-the-life.com's FaceBook page

He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. Luke 16:10

God rewards those who are faithful. Throughout your life God will seek to grow you in your faith. He will continually bring you to times when you must trust Him. He will lead you into situations that require a “little” faith, and if you are faithful, He will then take you into situations that require even greater trust in Him. Each time you are able to trust God at a higher level, God will reveal more of Himself to you. Your faith and experiencing God are directly linked.

The best way to tell if you are prepared for a greater revelation of God is to see how faithful you have been with what God has given you. This is a foundational principle in God’s relationships with us: If you have been faithful with the little He has given you, you are ready to be entrusted with more. If you failed to trust God with the little He gave you, He will not trust you with more. God will not lead you beyond your present level of trust and obedience to Him. He will return you to your area of unfaithfulness until you are prepared to trust Him. The children of Israel were unwilling to trust God to lead them into the Promised Land, and their generation never again was able to move forward with Him.

You stand at an exciting new door of opportunity to know God more intimately every time you believe Him. Every step of faith leads you to a deeper relationship of faith with Him. It is an open invitation to know God more intimately.

Blackaby Ministries

Marriage & Relationship Devotionals

Girlfriends in God devotionals

• Man's Best Friend by Sharon Jaynes
• Words Can Captivate Your Man by Sharon Jaynes
• The Roman Rules of Marriage by Sharon Jaynes
• "Don't Scratch That Itch" by Gwen Smith

Proverbs 31 Ministries devotionals 

• A Recipe for Relationships by Micca Monda Campbell
• What’s the Big Deal about Dwelling on the Past? by Melanie Chitwood 
• What's the Big Deal? by Melanie Chitwood

Everyday Christian devotionals

• Learning To Love…All Over Again by Bob Kellemen | Founder and CEO, RPM Ministries
• How To Learn To Love…All Over Again by Bob Kellemen | Founder and CEO, RPM Ministries

Woman to Woman Ministries blogs

• A Truly Wondrous Union: Lessons Learned by Jenifer of W2W

Start Marriage Right blogs

• Why Sharing Hopes and Hurts Strengthen the Home by Nicole Braddock Bromley 
• Transform Your Marriage by Rhett Smith

3 Ways to Be a Better Friend

3 Ways to Be a Better Friend

When you were younger, difficult times among girlfriendsnowadays add up to a whole lot more. What do you tell a friend whose husband just lost his job? How do you console a friend you consider to be a sister when her mother dies? What words are there to say when your friend is having a hard time in her marriage? didn't add up to anything more than liking the same boy at the same time. Difficult times


It's no longer hair braiding and crushes; it's more like spa days and commitment. The relationships we have with our girlfriends is ever evolving and it isn't always easy for us to change.Yet, things do change. Life changes, but the bond you share with your good friends doesn't have to change.


Listen to your inner voice and you'll find the words and wisdom to support a friend in need. Keep your head strong, your hand steady and your heart open. You'll find even in the face of new hurdles, by being a good friend, friendships will ultimately sustain you.

- Ericka Clay

A Different Road

They're the ones that I can count on,
sure as the beads on an abacus.
It is miraculous to me
how You fit them into my life:
the childhood friend,
the college roommate,
the confidante,
the sisters by birth
and by marriage.
Treasures, all...
a profusion much greater
than one woman deserves.
Thank You for the bonds
forged by women's hearts,
for tangible evidence
of Your enduring love.
Knowing You could not
be present in flesh,
You sent me those
who can and are.

- Lori Strawn

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions (Full Series Links)

Part 1:  Emotions: God’s Idea
Part 2:  Why We Feel What We Feel
Part 3:  Good News About Good Moods
Part 4:  Emotions: What Went Wrong?
Part 5:  Will Medicine Stop the Pain?
Part 6:  How’s Your Emotional Intelligence?
Part 7:  Become an Emotional Mentor: How to Help Others with Their Emotions
Part 8:  Emotions Gone Bad and Mad
Part 9:  What’s Wrong with Stuffing Our Feelings?
Part 10: Holding Onto Hope
Part 11: Learning the ABCs of Emotional Maturity
Part 12: Five Tools for Your Emotional Toolbox

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions Part 12: Five Tools for Your Emotional Toolbox

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions
Part 12: Five Tools for Your Emotional Toolbox

An Everyday Christian Devotional
By Bob Kellemen | Founder and CEO, RPM Ministries

 
Introduction: You’re reading Part 12 in a blog mini-series on Emotional Intelligence. Read Part 1: Emotions: God’s Idea, Part 2: Why We Feel What We Feel, Part 3: Good News about Good Moods, Part 4: What Went Wrong?, Part 5: Our Emotions and Our Bodies, Part 6: How’s Your EI?, Part 7: Become an Emotional Mentor, Part 8: Emotions Gone Mad, Part 9: What’s Wrong with Stuffing? (http://bit.ly/dGXQfW), part 10: Holding Onto Hope, and Part 11: Learning the ABCs of Emotional Maturity. I’ve developed this series from material in my book Soul Physicians.

How Can We Practice the Hallmarks of Emotional Maturity?

Emotional maturity consists of our ability to be managed by the Spirit so that we can manage ourselves and master the art of relating to others. The mature person has an emotional repertoire tailored to glorify God by showing God’s majesty and beauty to a weak and ugly world.

God designed our emotions to put us in motion. However, living in a fallen world, inhabiting unredeemed bodies, and tempted by an unloving enemy (Satan), we dare not allow our emotions to manage us. God calls on us to manage, master, and govern our emotions.

The problem is not with emotionality, but with the appropriateness of emotions and their governed expression. The question is, “How can we bring spiritual maturity to our emotions?” As Aristotle said, “Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—that is not easy.”

Without the Spirit’s control, we are vulnerable emotional hijackings. Our emotions, being designed as bridges between our outer world and our inner life, scream at us, “Act! Don’t think! 911. Emergency! Emergency!”

I tell people that “Our body has a mind of its own.” The physical brain transmits urgent messages to act and react. However, as Paul teaches in Romans 6, spiritual maturity includes yielding our body, including our brain, to the service of God’s will. Thus we must learn to control our physical brain with our spiritual mind. We need to bring rationality to bear on our emotionality.

Emotions are fast and sloppy. Our spirit/soul/mind/will/inner person is our emotional manager. We are to be our brain’s emotional damper switch.

Emotional maturity includes at least five emotional management skills:

• Emotional Self-Awareness: Soul-Awareness

• Emotional Spirit-Mastery: Soothing Our Soul in Our Savior

• Emotional Motivation: Managing Our Moods

• Emotional Empathy: Recognizing Emotions in Others

• Emotional Savvy: Handling Relationships

Emotional Tool # 1: Emotional Self-Awareness

Our first emotional management skill is emotional self-awareness. Emotional maturity begins with our awareness of our feelings as they occur. Are we able to recognize and name our own moods? Able to understand the causes of our feelings?

When we are emotionally self-aware, we give ongoing attention to our internal state. We are aware both of our mood and our thoughts about our mood. “I’m feeling down right now and it is frightening me.” Actively monitoring our moods helps us to begin to gain control of them.

Emotional Tool # 2: Emotional Spirit-Mastery

The capacity to soothe our soul in God (emotional spirit-mastery) is our second emotional management skill. It begins with our ability to take everything we are feeling to God.

It also involves our capacity for emotional self-regulation and responsibility. Thus it rejects the ventilation fallacy which teaches that catharsis—uncontrolled expression of what I am feeling and experiencing—is necessary for emotional health. Instead, what is necessary for emotional health is candor with myself about what I am feeling, candor with God about my mood states, and selective expression of my feelings toward others.

Emotional Tool # 3: Emotional Motivation

Managing our moods (emotional motivation) includes harnessing our emotions in the service of a goal. It also involves stifling our impulses (what the Bible calls “passions of the flesh”) and delaying gratification (Romans 5 and 8).

Hope is a key to emotional self-motivation and delayed gratification. Hope produces resilience, perseverance, and longsuffering. It allows us to turn setbacks into comebacks. Optimistic hope in God is vital. It says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” “I can meet challenges as they arise.” The result is learned contentment in whatever state I’m in (whatever external situation or internal mood).

Emotional Tool # 4: Emotional Empathy

The fourth emotional management skill is empathy or the ability to recognize emotions in others. Empathy builds on self-awareness. When I don’t have to strain to hear my own emotional voice, then I find myself hearing others with crystal clarity. That’s empathy: fluency in others’ emotional language. The more open I am to my own emotions, the more skilled I will be in reading the feelings of others.

How attuned are you to others? Are you emotionally tone-deaf, or do you have the ability to sense another’s mood? Do you practice the artful, creative, aesthetic ability to perceive the subjective experience of another person? Can you make another person’s pain your own? Are you skilled at perspective-taking?

Emotional Tool # 5: Emotional Savvy

The fifth emotional management skill—emotional savvy— is “the social art” or the art of emotional influence. It is the capacity to be emotionally nourishing, the ability to leave others in a good mood.

Emotional savvy involves interpersonal effectiveness that includes managing emotions in others, helping others to soothe themselves in God, and becoming an emotional tool kit for others.

The new you can manage your emotions, can govern your mood states. You can thrive by experiencing joy in the midst of sorrow, hope in the midst of grief, and peace in the midst of turmoil. The power comes through grace connecting. Only as we connect with God, soothing our soul in our Savior, can we courageously choose to connect with our fallen world in an emotionally mature manner.

The Rest of the Story

We’re near the end of our journey. In our final post, we review by asking the “What?” question: “What are the key emotional lessons we’ve learned?”

And then we renew by asking the “So what?” question: “So what difference could all of this make in how we live, relate, and minister?

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions Part 11: Learning the ABCs of Emotional Maturity

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions Part 11: Learning the ABCs of Emotional Maturity

An Everyday Christian Devotional
By Bob Kellemen | Founder and CEO, RPM Ministries


Introduction: You’re reading Part 11 in a blog mini-series on Emotional Intelligence. Read Part 1: Emotions: God’s Idea, Part 2: Why We Feel What We Feel, Part 3: Good News about Good Moods, Part 4: What Went Wrong?, Part 5: Our Emotions and Our Bodies, Part 6: How’s Your EI?, Part 7: Become an Emotional Mentor, Part 8: Emotions Gone Mad, Part 9: What’s Wrong with Stuffing?, and part 10: Holding Onto Hope. I’ve developed this series from material in my book Soul Physicians.

The ABCs of Emotional Maturity

Christians tend to be kindergartners when it comes to emotional maturity. That’s why we need to learn The ABCs of Emotional Maturity:

• A: How our emotions are of value to us.

• B: How our emotions are of value to others.

• C: How we can practice the hallmarks of emotional maturity.

How Our Emotions Are of Value to Us: A God-Given Warning Light

Emotions serve as God-given “dummy lights.” That flashing red light on our dash that says, “Hey, dummy, you’d better pop the hood ‘cause something is haywire underneath.”

Emotions are our warning lights that say, “There’s something important going on inside, pop the hood of your heart and check it out.” Our emotions point to our goals, which in turn point to our beliefs. Emotions are a God-given means for discerning inner motivation and thinking.

How Our Emotions Are of Value to Us: With Christ in the School of Emotions

Often we’re afraid of our emotions because we do not understand what is natural. Mark 3:5 helps us because it describes the emotional life of Christ. “He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.”

In this passage, we learn that Jesus experienced strong emotions. He experienced anger. This particular word for anger has the sense of “strong indignation and wrath.” He also experienced compassion which is “deep distress and grief.” Shouldn’t image bearers expect to experience strong emotions since Christ did? Don’t deny them. Don’t stuff them. Experience them.

We also learn that Jesus experienced a full range of both “pleasant” and “painful” emotions. He felt anger and compassion simultaneously. “While being grieved he felt intense anger” (Mark 3:5, author’s paraphrase). We, too, should expect to go through a full range of both pleasant and painful emotions. The lack of intense emotions has nothing to do with emotional maturity.

How Our Emotions Are of Value to Us: What to Do with Our Emotions

When an emotion “comes,” what do we “do” with it?

First, admit it. Acknowledge to yourself and God what you are feeling.

Second, identify it, label it accurately. “I’m hurt, angry, content, nervous, etc.”

Third, courageously face and feel that emotion. This is not an academic exercise. It is deeply feeling what is going on inside.

Fourth, always share with God what you are feeling (Hebrews 4:15-16). When you’re feeling an “illegitimate emotion” (hatred, etc.) confess it deeply, including confessing the goals and beliefs behind the feeling (1 John 1:8-2:2). When you’re feeling a “legitimate emotion” (joy, sorrow, etc.) share it fully (Hebrews 2:18).

Fifth, use that emotion to probe and to examine your goals and beliefs. An acknowledged emotion functions as a clue to a spiritual malfunction just as an acknowledged physical symptom (i.e., a cancer warning sign) serves as a clue to a deeper physical problem.

When do we probe? Even a good thing can be misused or overused. Should we constantly probe and become compulsively introspective? No. No one (no one in their right mind at least) checks under the hood of their car before every trip down to the grocery store. No, you check periodically, before long trips, and when the light comes on.

The same is true with emotions. When the light of intense emotion flashes, then check your goals and beliefs. For most Christians, the problem is checking far too infrequently. We tend to be afraid of our emotions. Check periodically, and always check during times of extremely strong emotions.

How Our Emotions Are of Value to Others

Jesus modeled a cardinal principle of emotional maturity when he purposely expressed his feelings to others in order to minister to them. The original language of Mark 3:5 is clear. “He chose to look around with angry glances, stopping at each one of them” (author’s paraphrase).

Jesus made a volitional choice to express his emotional reaction. On what basis did Christ do so? On what basis should we do the same? I believe that we should express our feelings to others only when we can meet the following criteria:

• We can answer the question: “How will expressing my feelings increase the potential for the other person’s growth in Christ?”

• We have previously established a strong relationship with the other person.

• We believe the person has the emotional maturity to handle and benefit from our sharing.

• We believe that sharing our feelings has the potential for healing the relationship.

• We are under control enough to think through the previous criteria. Or stated another way, we can govern/manage the release of our emotions.

The Rest of the Story

We’ve summarized the A and the B of the ABCs of Emotional Maturity. In our next post, we highlight the C: How we can practice the five hallmarks of emotional maturity.

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions Part 10: Holding Onto Hope

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions Part 10: Holding Onto Hope

Introduction: You’re reading Part 10 in a blog mini-series on Emotional Intelligence. Read Part 1: Emotions: God’s Idea, Part 2: Why We Feel What We Feel, Part 3: Good News about Good Moods, Part 4: What Went Wrong?, Part 5: Our Emotions and Our Bodies, Part 6: How’s Your EI?, Part 7: Become an Emotional Mentor, Part 8: Emotions Gone Mad, and Part 9: What’s Wrong with Stuffing Our Feelings? I’ve developed this series from material in my book Soul Physicians.

Nancy Guthrie’s Story

When Nancy Guthrie endured the death of her two babies to Zellweger Syndrome, she was tempted to anesthetize her feelings. Ponder her testimony after her second child, Hope, died.

“The day after we buried Hope, I understood for the first time why so many people choose to medicate their pain in so many harmful ways. That day I tried to sleep it away. And in the days that followed, I discovered that I could not sleep it away, shop it away, eat it away, or travel it away. I just had to feel it. And it hurt. Physically. I realized I had a choice—I could try to stuff the hurt away in a closet, pretend it wasn’t there, and wish it would disappear, or I could bring it out into the open, expose it to the Light, probe it, accept it head-on, trudge through it, feel its full weight, and do my best to confront my feelings of loss and hopelessness with the truth of God’s Word at every turn” (Guthrie, Holding Onto Hope: A Pathway Through Suffering to the Heart of God, p. 12).

Nancy lives poetically. Nancy knows how to grieve, but not as those who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Nancy models for us mood reorder—she shows how our salvation in Christ brings wholeness and holiness to our emotions.

Emotional Maturity: Alive to Life

 

In Christ, we are enlivened to honestly experience life in all its grief and hope. We are not ashamed of our emotionality. We don’t consider emotions the “black sheep of the image bearing family.” We don’t hide from our feelings. We are alive to life in all its external vicissitudes and internal joys and sorrows.

What a reversal from our fallen emotionality where we feared feeling anything deeply, honestly, and ended up living for shallow emotional highs and avoiding personal pain at all cost. We practiced either: emotional stoicism (repressing our moods) or emotional sensationalism (expressing moods without control or concern for others).

The Bible teaches that mature emotionality enables us to face our feelings and manage our moods. We learn candid honesty with ourselves about our feelings. Like Jeremiah, we identify our mood states, “My soul is downcast within me” (Lamentations 3:20).

We learn to courageously express our feelings to our heavenly Father and to soothe our soul in our Savior. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

We learn to bring rationality to our emotionality. “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26-27).

Emotional maturity should permeate every aspect of our new person in Christ.

• Spiritually, we can soothe our soul in our Savior.

• Socially we can, empathize with others, helping them find God’s sustaining comfort and healing hope.

• As self-aware beings we can admit, understand, accept, and manage our moods.

• Rationally, we can bring rationality to our emotionality by understanding with wisdom the causes and nature of our feelings, and by envisioning with spiritual eyes imaginative ways to handle our moods.

• Volitionally, we can consciously and courageously choose to creatively respond to our emotional mood states.

Of All People…

Of all people, Christians should be the most emotionally mature—for all the reasons mentioned above. Yet, often Christians seem to be the least emotionally mature and the most emotionally tone-deaf.

Which of us hasn’t shaken our head in dismay, disbelief, discouragement, and disappointment after an interaction with a Christian leader who just doesn’t get it emotionally? And, if we’re honest, which of us hasn’t shaken our head in dismay at our own emotional immaturity?

Christians tend to be kindergartners when it comes to emotional maturity. We’ve barely learned the “ABCs” of emotional intelligence. That’s why I’ve sub-titled this blog mini-series (okay, not so “mini” anymore!) The ABCs of Emotions. That’s why we need…The Rest of the Story.

The Rest of the Story

Here’s what we’ll learn in our upcoming posts on The ABCs of Emotions:

• A: How are our emotions and mood states of value to us?

• B: How are our emotions and mood states of value to others?

• C: How can we practice the hallmarks of emotional maturity?

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions Part 9: What’s Wrong with Stuffing Our Feelings?

Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions Part 9: What’s Wrong with Stuffing Our Feelings? 


An Everyday Christian Devotional
By Bob Kellemen | Founder and CEO, RPM Ministries

Introduction: You’re reading Part 9 in a blog mini-series on Emotional Intelligence. Read Part 1: Emotions: God’s Idea, Part 2: Why We Feel What We Feel, Part 3: Good News about Good Moods, Part 4: What Went Wrong?, Part 5: Our Emotions and Our Bodies, Part 6: How’s Your EI?, Part 7: Become an Emotional Mentor, and Part 8: Emotions Gone Mad. I’ve developed this series from material in my book Soul Physicians.

Stuffing Our Feelings

In Part 8, we explored the first of two typical ways that emotions go bad: using our emotions as spears—out-of-control expression of our feelings that end up harming others.

For most people, especially Christians, this “spearing of emotions” seems like the worst possible scenario. Additionally, many Christians seem to assume that the opposite extreme is actually a healthy emotional response: “stuffing our feelings”—over-controlled repression of our feelings. Such is not the case.

Emotional Stoics Versus Emotional Poets

God calls us to be emotional “poets.” We are to manage our moods the way the psalmists did— facing our feelings face-to-face with God and soothing our soul in our Savior.

Instead of being passionate poets like the psalmists, we become apathetic stoics. We try to live without pathos, without passion and feeling. Mr. Spock of Star Trek fame was a stoic. He tried to repress his emotions, deny them, if he could, eradicate them.

It’s easy to understand stoicism’s attraction. Hatred, despair, and terror are not exactly the most attractive experiences. When they sweep over us, we flee them like an invading army.

We can understand stoics by contrasting them with poets. What should biblical poets do with their anger, hatred, and rage?

1. Option One: Acknowledging Our Moods or Trying to Eradicate Our Moods

We should not try to eradicate our feelings. Paul tells us to be angry but sin not; he does not tell us never to be angry (Ephesians 4:26). Emotional poets acknowledge their moods to themselves (candor) and to God (lament).

Psalm 73 is a classic expression of a believer’s struggle to comprehend and control his envy, jealousy, and hatred. Asaph is dismayed that a good God could allow bad things to happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. He faces his envy coram Deo (face-to-face with God) telling God all about it. He doesn’t wait to be rid of his envy before he dares enter his Father’s presence. He takes himself, all that he is, including his envy, to God.

Stoics, on the other hand, try to eradicate their hatred. “If I don’t think about it, it’s not there. If I repress it, it will go away.” They choose denial over candor and lament.

2. Option Two: Seeing Our Feelings with Spiritual Eyes or with Eyeballs Only

As emotional poets, God wants us to explore our moods with spiritual eyes. Asaph enters the presence of God to gain perspective on his perspective. “When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny” (Psalm 73:16-17). God calls us to view our external situation and our internal moods from His eternal perspective.

Those who repress their moods try the opposite approach. When a mood doesn’t vanish, they mull it over and over and over again with eyeballs only—from a worldly perspective. Asaph was once trapped there, seeing only the prosperity of the wicked. We’re doomed to defeat whenever we look at our situations and our feelings only from a temporal perspective.

3. Option Three: Confessing My Sinful Anger or Playingthe Pharisee with My Sinful Anger

Third, emotional poets confess their sinful anger to Father. “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you” (Psalm 73:21-22).

Of course, not all anger is sinful. But sinful anger—anger that is self-centered and self-protective, anger that pushes us away from God and others—we confess that anger.

Stoics, on the other hand, don’t confess their mismanaged moods to God. They don’t believe that they could come to God unless they perfectly, serenely suppress their rage. They play the emotional Pharisee—trying to deal with their emotions through the flesh, through works, and through self-sufficiency.

4. Option Four: Facing Feelings with Grace or with Works

Fourth, poets receive grace. “Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand” (Psalm 73:23).

Not so the emotional stoic. In self-righteousness, they never receive grace. They think, “Why do I need grace? I manage quite well on my own.”

5. Option Five: Choosing God-Sufficiency or Self-Sufficiency

Fifth, poets recognize that only God is enough. “Whom have I in heaven but you, and earth has nothing I desire besides you” (Psalm 73:25). Godly emotional poets choose God-sufficiency.

Emotional stoics choose self-sufficiency by denying and attempting to repress their feelings.

Why? Facing moods forces us to face our insufficiency. Nothing makes us feel punier than being overwhelmed by feelings. No one wants to hear the derogatory comment, “He’s so moody.” “She’s so emotional!”

When feelings overpower us we feel powerless, impotent. In our flesh, we would rather stuff our moods, would rather survive self-sufficiently, than admit that we need help managing our moods.

That’s why stuffing our feelings is sinful—it is a work’s orientation. It displays a self-sufficient denial of our need for God. Though more subtle than out-of-control expression (spearing) of our feelings, suppression is equally sinful.

The Rest of the Story

We’ve explored mood order—how God designed our emotions to function. And we’ve probed mood disorder—how sin mars God’s design for our moods. We never want to stop at sin. Where sin abounds, grace super-abounds (Romans 5:20). In our upcoming posts, we begin to discuss mood reorder—how does our salvation in Christ bring wholeness and holiness to our emotions?

 

Why Sharing Hopes and Hurts Strengthen the Home

Start Marriage Right blogs


Why Sharing Hopes and Hurts Strengthen the Home 
by Nicole Braddock Bromley 


In the weeks leading up to our wedding, my husband and I confidently informed friends that we were setting our expectations for marriage as low as possible. Our reason was that if we expected little, then whatever good things happened along the way would feel like a day at Disney World.

But, let’s be honest: we did have expectations. We all do. And we should have expectations of the people with which we share close relationships. I think the problem isn’t so much the level of hope or expectation, but the fear in discussing them.

I was the queen of avoiding and denying expectations. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I grew up believing that my voice didn’t matter. I was a people-pleaser, working my hardest to secure peace and happiness around me, meanwhile afraid to speak up about my own needs or wants. Furthermore, I had a huge fear of appearing “high maintenance” to the man I eagerly wanted to marry.

But before he ever came into the scene, I was busy portraying myself as a “tough girl,” rarely letting myself cry or appear vulnerable. I thought that if I could wall off parts of my heart from others, no one could get close enough to hurt me. Putting on a mask of toughness, perfectionism, and people-pleasing compulsion seemed to be the only way to conquer my fears and keep me safe. But in the end, I found that it only strengthened my fears and prevented me from finding the life of freedom and the healthy marriage I longed for beneath it all.

 Eventually Matt popped into my world, and though I trusted him like no man I had ever trusted before and had revealed to him some of my deepest secrets, I was still afraid to fully communicate my hopes and desires.

I know I am not alone. Many of us struggle to “let others in,” to truly know us or come alongside us. If you are like me and also have abuse in your background, you know of the additional struggles facing us in relationships. Statistically, one in every three women and one in every six men who read this article have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Sexual abuse shatters many areas of a victim’s life, but the more obvious aspects of abuse don’t even compare to the relational damage it can cause. Whether the abuse was a one-time exploitation or long-term trauma, its effects on relationships last a lifetime. I share this not to scare you, but to urge you to do what it takes to be a healthy partner in marriage.

Trust and open, honest communication are the basis of a strong relationship. But when life gets difficult, we often stop communicating. Just when we most need to connect with someone who can support us, we withdraw, clam up, and try to go alone. But in isolating ourselves and hiding our hearts, we not only take a step backward on the path to healing, we also rob our marriages.

As a newlywed, I was afraid to come across as “needy” so I often bottled up my hurt and unmet expectations until I nearly exploded.  And in an effort to not appear emotional or vulnerable, I tried to fix everything myself. As a result, I unknowingly robbed my husband of many opportunities to know me deeply, pray for me, comfort me, support me, serve me and walk through all things with me; and I robbed myself of the opportunity to receive those same things.

Once I began opening up more about my expectations, wants and needs, I had to also begin inviting Matt to respond. In doing so, I allowed him to know me on a deeper level and empowered him as a husband. Ephesians 5:21-33 instructs us to care for our spouse as Christ cares for the church. By sharing my heart I gave Matt an opportunity to show me Jesus’s heart: loving me while seeing my flaws and knowing my pain. Before I knew it, communication seemed easier, trust grew deeper, our marriage became stronger; we felt like teammates on a winning team.

This reminds me of a domestic situation last week in the Bromley home. As I was changing my six-month-old’s diaper, my two-year-old son, Jude, asked me to get him something to drink. I answered, “I’ll get you a drink in just a minute.”  He walked away and within seconds had taken matters into his own hands. He dipped a cup into the toilet bowl, brought it into the baby’s room, took a sip and said, “Mmm. Look, Mommy! It’s good!”

Jude did a great job of communicating his need; he just didn’t let me come alongside him to help meet his need. He settled for “good” on his own, but he could have had better (I hope we can all agree that tap water is better than toilet water)! I’ve found that, in marriage, when I take matters into my own hands I can get good results—but I want great results!

The truth is, there are many expectations at the starting gate of marriage, ranging from how often sexual intimacy will occur to who will change the kitty litter. But remember in all these things, you are teammates for life, and the best refreshment for the journey ahead is always a fresh drink shared together at the faucet rather than a quick solitary sip at the toilet.

Your most important personality trait

Your most important personality trait

A Self Magazine article

MY NOTE:  This is not a Christian article, but it spoke to me at this time when God has given me this message several times.

I believe the #1 most important trait you can possess is empathy. Empathy means the ability to perceive others' thoughts and feelings and to respond appropriately--or, put simply, being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes. We're social creatures who need to connect with others to feel happy and healthy, and empathy is the key to human connection. The more you can understand someone else's perspective, the more you can relate to and feel close to them and, in turn, treat them with compassion and kindness. 

We all vary in our level of empathy. At one extreme end of the spectrum are sociopaths, who lack all empathy and don't express regret for committing crimes that the rest of us find atrocious (i.e. murder, rape). Some people have conditions such as autism that limit their empathy and make it more difficult to connect with others. The rest of us fall somewhere along the spectrum: We're not all Mother Teresas, acutely sensitive to human suffering and devoting our lives to serving others, but most of us possess enough empathy to interact with others and form close friendships and romantic bonds.

I read an interesting new study showing that depression chips away at your empathy, limiting your ability to be sensitive to your partner's feelings. Even more surprising is that if you're depressed, your partner is less empathetic too. That's a big problem, because mutual understanding is the foundation of intimacy, so this reduced empathy can really cause distance and have a harmful effect on a relationship. So, here's yet another reason it's so important to seek out help if you think you're depressed. The American Psychological Association">The American Psychological Association is an excellent resource to find out more about the signs and symptoms of depression, and search for a therapist. 

Curious how empathetic you are? You can find out! Simon Baron-Cohen (the brother of actor Sasha Baron-Cohen) is a professor of Developmental Psychopathology at The University of Cambridge">Developmental Psychopathology at The University of Cambridge, and he has developed an empathy scale where you can check out your level. 

Try these three strategies to become more empathetic: 

1. Spend time with people who are different than you to expose yourself to a range of perspectives and outlooks. 

2. Try volunteering. By helping others, you'll better understand where they're coming from. 

3. Keep up with current events. Tuning in to what's going on in the world around you will broaden your outlook and clue you in to the diversity of opinions and situations beyond yourself.

Proverbs 31 Ministries devotional

Craving Connection

by Renee Swope

“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25 (NIV)

Devotion:

Do you ever catch yourself checking email repeatedly? One morning I checked my email as soon as I woke up. Then I made breakfast and checked it again. Had my devotional time and checked it again. Ran some errands and when I got home, checked it once more.

Now, I admit I have a thing about keeping white space in my inbox, but this was about more than managing emails.

I was going back for a reason. I sensed the Holy Spirit nudging me to pause and ask myself, “Why do you keep checking your email?”

I sat there and let my heart respond honestly. I wasn’t sure if it was God or me answering, but my thoughts intertwined with His Spirit whispered: You keep coming back because your heart longs for connection with a friend.

Yet no matter how many times I checked email, it was never enough to satisfy my craving.

Somewhere in the busyness of life I had let many of my friendships reduce to quick connections via email. Over the past year my schedule had gotten so full with kids, school projects, family needs, investing time in my marriage, and new responsibilities at work that something had to give.

I didn’t want it to be my family, so I asked God to help me find balance.

I had sensed Him leading me to cut back on the amount of time I spent talking on the phone, socializing with neighbors and hanging out with friends. Although I hadn’t completely cut out my friendships, my face-to-face connection time with friends had been reduced to a minimum.

That morning as I sat at my computer, I realized I had not found balance. The pendulum had swung too far.
Here I was checking email repeatedly, trying to fill a God-created need for relationships with a white screen and black alphabet keys.

My heart was craving more. God had revealed the source of my incessant email checking and shown me that I needed to fill the lonely place in my spirit with friends I could talk to and share life with — in person.

That day I called one of my closest friends. She happened to be available so I turned off my computer and took a break from work to spontaneously meet her at a coffee shop.

It was just what I needed: face-to-face, heart-to-heart, eye-to-eye connection and conversation.

I know friendships are not easy to build. They take time. And time is limited with lives that keep us so busy. But in this age of technology, it’s important to evaluate things in our lives that create a false sense of connection like email, television, text messaging and overboard activities.

Although these things are okay in moderation, they can’t substitute real-life relationships.

So what about long-distance and internet friendships? Aren’t they important, too? Yes, they are. But God created us for relationships where we can see each other, hug each other and talk to each other face-to-face.
We need to pull away from our computers and televisions to intentionally carve out time for friends that are in close proximity. Times where we can meet face-to-face to share what’s going on in our lives. Today’s key verse instructs us not to give up meeting together to worship and encourage one another. As we see here and throughout the Bible “meeting together” is important to God.

Jesus needed face-to-face connections, too. So He surrounded Himself with intimate friends — first His Father, then His close friends John, Peter and James and then the other nine disciples.

He also had friends like Mary, Martha and Lazarus. People He spent time with sharing meals and having conversations about spiritual truths that applied to their everyday lives. Through His example we see how important it is to satisfy our craving for connections by spending face-to-face time with friends.
So, who will you connect with face-to-face this week?

Dear Lord, You created me with a need for friends. Yet, I find myself rushing through my days with little time for heart-to-heart connections. Help me to seek You first as my ultimate Friend, and then reach out to others so I can have and be a close friend. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Application Steps:

Make a list of one or two friends you enjoy being with. Call them on the phone to encourage them and set up a time to get together.

If you’re not sure who to call, ask God to show you someone you can begin a friendship with. Invite them to join you for lunch or to go for a walk together this week.

Reflections:

How often do I check email or my Facebook page? Do I crave connection?
What are some steps I can take this week to develop a new friendship or strengthen an old one?

Power Verses:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (NIV)

“I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15b (NIV)

Who Made God?

Who Made God?

 Living Waters - On the Box Blog

The most common context in which the old who made God question comes in is after a detractor of the faith concedes that the universe has not always existed but, had a beginning! So picking up the conversation from there the Christian will point out that the universe could not have just popped into existence uncaused out of absolute nothingness! It is cause and effect (science 101), the universe (effect) must have a cause (God) that brought about it's existence. God (caused) the universe (effect) to exist, cause and effect! In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. It is science 101 meets Genesis 1:1.

In typical fashion and swagger the detractor will then parrot the infamous "Ok then who made God?"

By just asking the question who made God, the detractor has revealed that they don't really understand what they are asking, for if they had, they never would have honestly asked the question to begin with. We must illuminate and reiterate the point previously made, for this is where the conversation will be most fruitful. So tell them that by definition your question is malformed. Ask them if they understand why? Then help them!

The question itself is a category mistake. God by definition has always existed! More to the point, God is not an effect that requires a cause! No, He has always existed, uncaused! Break it down some more and show why the question is a category mistake by unveiling what they ask -if they intend to properly represent God- is what caused that which is uncaused? Have more examples ready: Who made that which was never-made/always-existed? It is equivalent to asking: What is the name of the married bachelor? It is a category mistake. Bachelors are single (non-married) men and God is the Infinite uncaused Cause. God by definition has always existed.

Posted By: Chad Williams

Faith In a Little

By www.jesus-is-lord-the-way-the-truth-the-life.com's FaceBook page

Faith In a Little

 

He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. Luke 16:10

God rewards those who are faithful. Throughout your life God will seek to grow you in your faith. He will continually bring you to times when you must trust Him. He will lead you into situations that require a “little” faith, and if you are faithful, He will then take you into situations that require even greater trust in Him. Each time you are able to trust God at a higher level, God will reveal more of Himself to you. Your faith and experiencing God are directly linked.

The best way to tell if you are prepared for a greater revelation of God is to see how faithful you have been with what God has given you. This is a foundational principle in God’s relationships with us: If you have been faithful with the little He has given you, you are ready to be entrusted with more. If you failed to trust God with the little He gave you, He will not trust you with more. God will not lead you beyond your present level of trust and obedience to Him. He will return you to your area of unfaithfulness until you are prepared to trust Him. The children of Israel were unwilling to trust God to lead them into the Promised Land, and their generation never again was able to move forward with Him.

You stand at an exciting new door of opportunity to know God more intimately every time you believe Him. Every step of faith leads you to a deeper relationship of faith with Him. It is an open invitation to know God more intimately.

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FAITHFUL IN A LITTLE He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much. Luke 16:10 God rewards those who are faithful. Throughout your life God will seek to grow you in your faith. He will continually bring you to times when you must trust Him. He will lead you into situations that require a “little” faith, and if you are faithful, He will then take you into situations that require even greater trust in Him. Each time you are able to trust God at a higher level, God will reveal more of Himself to you. Your faith and experiencing God are directly linked. The best way to tell if you are prepared for a greater revelation of God is to see how faithful you have been with what God has given you. This is a foundational principle in God’s relationships with us: If you have been faithful with the little He has given you, you are ready to be entrusted with more. If you failed to trust God with the little He gave you, He will not trust you with more. God will not lead you beyond your present level of trust and obedience to Him. He will return you to your area of unfaithfulness until you are prepared to trust Him. The children of Israel were unwilling to trust God to lead them into the Promised Land, and their generation never again was able to move forward with Him. You stand at an exciting new door of opportunity to know God more intimately every time you believe Him. Every step of faith leads you to a deeper relationship of faith with Him. It is an open invitation to know God more intimately. Blackaby Ministries

God Doesn’t Want You Out of This Mess (Yet)

an Everyday Christian devotional
God Doesn’t Want You Out of This Mess (Yet) 
By Amy Vogel

One of the most famous and frightening quotes in Scripture is Matthew 27:45-49.  In those lines, we witness the connection of Jesus to His Father - severed.  This mystery is hard to grasp, but Christ made it clear, in those moments hanging on the Cross – The Father was far from Him.

Currently, everyone in my immediate family is walking a path of suffering.  In daily prayer, our hearts plead for relief.  But I am not sure God wants that.  Surely, He wants His children free of pain, toil, fear.  However, on this earth, He asks us to face our messes head on.  Some of it is self-inflicted; some brought on by the sin of others; and some is the result of random statistics. 

The messes we are in happened under The Lord’s authority.  Nothing happens on His watch that does not first pass through His Hands.  But if we do not hold on to that fact, and that He made us to overcome it all – we will chose to see Him as a distant autocrat – and not very likeable. 

That is a sad way to walk through difficulty.  To feel abandoned and alone is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.  It leads to terrible, soul-breaking decisions; which is why I believe Jesus made it very clear - trouble is coming.  If He was not exempt from it, we wouldn’t be either.

When we cry for deliverance, when we doubt and question – that’s ok.  We are following in His footsteps, those Matthew documented.  We just can’t stay there. 

William Willimon, in his book on Good Friday, states:

“We don’t want to overhear such terrible, terrifying words…because we don’t want to know that that’s the kind of God we’ve got, the kind of God who does not always work the world to our benefit, the kind of God who, when it gets dark, doesn’t immediately switch on the lights but rather comes and hangs out with us, on the cross, in the dark, and lets us in on…the very heart of the Trinity.” (Thank God It’s Friday, p.45)

When tough times hit, we have got to remember we are not only a people of deliverance.  We are also a people of perseverance.  In the midst of our mess, we not only to ask how would Jesus respond, but as Eugene Peterson puts it, we must ask what God is doing (The Jesus Way, p. 38.)  In seasons of suffering, we get familiar with what it is like to walk in the dark – and often that is the only way to see His light, shining from us.

The Apostle Peter said it in his first letter (1 Peter 4:12-19).  He says we shouldn’t bat an eye when it is our turn on the wheel of hurt.  Everyone, believer or not, gets their chance to endure something.  God allows it for His children because He is crafting us like His Son.  He can’t always do that during the good times.  We realize our stamina comes from our belief in His Power; and when it is over, we pay His Love back, comforting others. 

When we are hurting, our release has to come from an out-of-this world place, not from the easy fixes at hand.  We must seek the joy of connection to Jesus, reach beyond the pain.  That is what makes our joy, here and now – and ultimately in the end, so substantial.

When We Get Disappointed

an Everyday Christian devotional 
When We Get Disappointed 
By Kelli Zaniel

“But, I want to be in the talent show, mom,” my 1^stgrader whimpered. She wanted to sing in the talent show with a friend who suddenly developed cold feet.

As the cold air began singing around her, a solitary tear of grief welled up in the corner of her eye. All of the sudden, the dam broke and a flood of disappointment coursed down her six year old face. As I watched her, my eyes screamed out for justice. A soft voice echoed through the hallway of my mind, “You remember what it’s like to be disappointed, don’t you?”

Disappointment is a feeling of being let down, a feeling of sadness or frustration because something was not as good, attractive, or satisfactory as expected.

God designed us to live in anticipation and expectation of Him. He created us to be goal-seekers and plan-makers. When we project a specific outcome, we live in expectation of seeing it come to fruition. Seeing our hopes and dreams realized.

“Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.” --Proverbs 13:12, (MSG)

Has your heart ever been sick with disappointment?

My casserole tasted like rubber at the dinner party. 

That relationship didn’t work out the way I thought it would.

The sting of disappointment hurts, sometimes for a long time. We long for God to apply the healing salve that will take the pain away forever.

Just because we are followers of Jesus doesn’t mean we are immune to disappointment.

When things don’t go our way, we have a tendency to gripe and complain to anyone who will listen. We say with finger-snapping punctuation, “Oh, unh-unh, it wasn’t supposed to be this way.” Seemingly, this only stirs the pot and keeps a steady boil bubbling in our hearts.

God listens.

God’s a good listener. He doesn’t mind hearing all about our complaints. He prefers we go to him first, not our best girlfriend or even our mama. Why not go straight to the One who can actually do something about our circumstances.

God doesn’t turn his back.

God didn’t turn his back or roll his eyes as the Psalmist sang in frustration over their disappointments. He listened to each poetic account of hurt and heartbreak. This resulted in God’s glorification even in the midst of their personal turmoil. In the end, they were the recipients of God’s best and greatest blessings.

When expectation and disappointment collide, there is only one thing to do.

Get to Jesus.

Get there without delay.

Don’t pause to look around.

Run.

Get to Him.

He will dislodge the hurt and bitterness that threatens divine intimacy with him. He will prune away limbs of disappointment before they overshadow God’s Fruit of the Spirit in our lives.

So what do we do the next time our soul dips low from aches of disappointment? We must remember to get to Jesus, quickly.We must abide in the truth of Psalm 22:5 that says, when we get to Jesus we will “NOT be disappointed.”

10 Steps to Make Godly Decisions

an Everyday Christian devotional
10 Steps to Make Godly Decisions
By Gina Burgess
This process can be applied to any situation where you need to make an important decision. If you follow these ten basic steps, you will find yourself making wiser decisions in your professional as well as your personal life. Just remember, Proverbs 16:33 The lot is cast into the lap, But its every decision is from the LORD. When a person slogs through life being blown by every wind, it is sadly a lack of asking for godly wisdom.

• Define, as specifically as possible, what the decision is that needs to be made. Is this really your decision or someone else's? Do you really need to make a decision? (If you do not have at least two options, there is no decision to be made.) When does the decision need to be made? Why is this decision important to you? Who will be affected by this decision? What values does this decision involve for you?

Daniel 4:17 'This decision is by the decree of the watchers, And the sentence by the word of the holy ones, In order that the living may know That the Most High rules in the kingdom of men, Gives it to whomever He will, And sets over it the lowest of men.'

• Write down as many alternatives as you can think of. Brainstorm as many different alternatives as you can imagine. Let your imagination run free and try not to censure anything; this is not the time to be judgmental. Just be sure to write everything down.

2 Samuel 24:12 "Go and tell David, 'Thus says the LORD: "I offer you three things; choose one of them for yourself, that I may do it to you." ' " Notice in the following verses, those choices were not pleasant. Seven years of famine in Israel, three months of running from his enemies, or three days of plague. David wisely chose to fall into God’s hands. 2 Samuel 24:14 And David said to Gad, "I am in great distress. Please let us fall into the hand of the LORD, for His mercies are great; but do not let me fall into the hand of man."

• Think where you could find more information about possible alternatives. If you only come up with a few options, you may want to get more information. Additional information generally leads to more alternatives. One of the most accurate places is through prayer. God will call to your mind things that you may have forgotten, or lead you to a source you never knew about.

Psalm 121:1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the LORD, from whence cometh my help.

• Write down all of your options, then sort through them. Now that you have your list of alternatives, it is time to begin evaluating them to see which one works for you. Beside each option, write down the values that would come into play for each alternative: morals, principles, monetary cost, and things not so obvious such as how that decision would effect family, spouse, children, parents. Second, look for the alternatives which would allow you to use the greatest number of your values. Third, cross the alternatives off the list which do not fit into your personal value framework.

David chose to put himself in God’s hand over and over again. Joseph reaped the huge benefit of forgiveness toward his brothers. Boaz reaped the benefit of choosing family duty and he stands in the lineage of Jesus. (Of course, Ruth’s beauty was also an added benefit.)

• Visualize the outcomes of each alternative. For each remaining alternative on your list, picture what the outcome of that alternative will look like. Here, too, it helps if you write out your impressions. Jeremiah hashed out his question to God, “Why do the wicked prosper?” In chapter 12, he drew the complete picture.
• Do a reality check. Which of your remaining alternatives are most likely to happen? Sometimes it is fun to daydream about beaches and mountains or winning the lottery, but reality eventually sets in so cross off those alternatives that most likely will not happen to you.

Job 42:1-6 Then Job answered the LORD and said: 2 "I know that You can do everything, And that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. 3 You asked, 'Who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 4 Listen, please, and let me speak; You said, 'I will question you, and you shall answer Me.' 5 "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You. 6 Therefore I abhor myself, And repent in dust and ashes."

• Which alternative fits you? Review your remaining alternatives and decide which ones feel most comfortable to you. These are your wise decisions. If you are very happy about a decision, but are not as comfortable with its possible outcome, this is a clue that this is not a wise decision for you. On the other hand, you may dislike an alternative, but be very excited about the possible outcome. This decision would probably not be wise for you either. If you feel you can not only live with both the alternative as well as the possible outcome, but are also excited about it, then this is the wise decision you should follow. Remember God is most present in a decision when we are fearful we can accomplish it. This makes much more room for God to work, and lessens our vise-like grasp on the reins.

Exodus 3:11 But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?" 12 So He said, "I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain."

• Get started! Once you have made your decision, get moving on it. Worrying or second-guessing yourself will only cause grief. You have done your very best for the present. Trust God to let you know you must make a change in direction for He absolutely will if your desire is to obey Him. Remember, no decision is set in stone, except those decreed by God, of course.

Exodus 4:18 So Moses went and returned to Jethro his father-in-law, and said to him, "Please let me go and return to my brethren who are in Egypt, and see whether they are still alive." And Jethro said to Moses, "Go in peace." God gave Moses a clear plan of action before Moses ever confronted Pharoah. His bullet points were the plagues ending with the Angel of Death moving through Egypt taking all the first born.

• How is it going? Be sure to review your decision at pre-determined points along the road. Are the outcomes what you expected? Are you happy with the outcomes? Do you want to let the decision stand or would you like to make some adjustments? If the decision did not come out the way you planned, go through the complete decision-making process again. In the process, answer the following questions: Did I not have enough information? What values actually came into play? Were they my values or someone else's? Remember, God is very generous with godly wisdom, so never stop asking Him for it. He will guide you as no other can.

(This process was inspired by the Small Business Administration's advice on making business decisions.)