Dead Weight

Dead Weight

by Karen Ehman 

 

“Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” James 1:21 (NIV)

Ever have a reoccurring bad attitude drain the life right out of you? It can cause your spirits to wither and your joy to die, leaving you limp and lifeless like a water-deprived plant.

I was feeling that way recently when I remembered something my husband’s mom had taught me. She is famous for growing wonderful herbs and colorful perennials. In fact, her garden boasts an array of color from the first hint of spring until late fall.

One day I asked her to share her green-thumb secret. She explained that the secret to helping plants thrive is called “dead-heading.” Here is how it is done: As soon as any beautiful blooms begin to whither, fade, or turn brown, they must be removed.

I’ve discovered it is a tedious, never-ending task. Just when I think I have removed every dried up blossom, the next day a dozen more appear. But if I want my flowers to keep blossoming, I have to dead-head daily because the deceased blooms sap nutrition and strength from the core of the plant. They rob the flowers of energy that could be used for new growth.

However, if the dead and debilitating weight is properly plucked, the stems will give gorgeous petals throughout the entire life of the plant.

As I pluck my dead flower heads, I am reminded of my life with Christ. There are places in my heart, thoughts in my mind, and actions in my will that stem from bad attitudes. And they are nothing but dead weight to my spiritual life.

Often these deep-rooted thought patterns and their companions — doubt, fear, wrong choices, old habits, nursed grudges, or current conflicts — threaten to choke our growth and prevent us from displaying the splendor God intends for us to show.

We start our day hopeful yet give in to the hurtful. Our self-doubts or judgments of others often take root in negative thoughts and counterproductive actions that not only have the potential to ruin our day, but also affect those around us. However, if we are intentional in nipping these at their first appearance, we will be more likely to experience new growth in our walk with Christ and health in our relationships.

Today’s verse from James tells us to get rid of such issues and instead to humbly plant God’s word deep in our hearts. So, instead of dwelling on a temptation in our thoughts and allowing it to morph into sin, we quietly focus our hearts on a truth from scripture such as “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet he did not sin.” (Hebrews 5:14)

Dwelling on scripture empowers, rather than drains us. It is spiritual dead-heading at its finest. This switch in our thought pattern can save us from wrong choices, unhealthy relationships and self-inflicted heartbreak.

Could your heart use a dead-heading session? Are there faded blooms you have been carrying around that are sapping your spiritual energy and strength, causing heartache and tears? Get rid of the bad. Plant God’s good Word in that spot instead. Then stand back — patiently now — and watch beautiful blooms begin to appear.

Dear Lord, I admit to You the faded flowers of my heart that I have been carrying around for much too long. Grant me courage to pluck them for good. Replace them with Your word planted seriously in my soul in an intentional manner. Let me drink deep of your bottomless nourishment so that the blooms You choose to grow and display in my life might point others to the Savior. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating

New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating... Video Series 4 parts

Awesome series! 

A New Kind of Fruitful

April 14, 2011

A New Kind of Fruitful

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations" (Matthew 28:19).

Friend to Friend
Those years of infertility were a stormy time in my life, but then, a few years later, a tidal wave hit.
"Steve can you meet me for lunch? I have a little surprise for you."

I was so excited to meet Steve and tell him this unexpected news that I called him at the office and asked him to meet me for lunch. After several years of infertility treatment, we had become content with our family of three, but now it seemed Steven was going to have a little brother or sister after all.

I handed Steve a tiny wrapped package. He gingerly pulled back the paper and opened the lid to discover a baby pillow nestled in soft white tissue paper.

"Does this mean what I think it means?"

"Yes," I replied with tears filling my eyes.

My dream was coming true! There would be more children after all. While the baby was growing well inside my womb and the nursery was being planned inside our home, the dream came to a screeching halt. The baby died. I had a miscarriage. It was not the loss of a child that was to be. It was the loss of a child that was. For months I grieved her loss.

There are still times today when I look at the portraits of our family of three and I can almost see the shadow of a fourth. But one day there will come a time when my little girl will not be a mere shadow. I will hold her in my arms. Until then, it gives me great comfort to picture her healthy and whole and playing at the feet of Jesus.

During those summer months following our loss, a friend sang me this song.

God is too wise to be mistaken.

God is too good to b unkind.

So when you can't understand

When you don't see His plan,

When you can't trace His hand,

Trust His heart.

And as the years progressed, God began to show me what it really meant to "Be fruitful and multiply."

Being Spiritually Fruitful
God fashioned women to be child bearers. Our wombs, breasts, hips, and hormones were uniquely designed for conceiving and giving life. There is an inborn nature to nurture, and while we may not give birth to our own flesh and blood in a delivery room, we can still - must still - be fruitful and nurture those in our sphere of influence.

When God created Adam and Eve, He commanded them to "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it;" (Genesis 1:28 NASB). In the New Testament, we see another kind of fruitfulness as Jesus sent out the disciples. "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations," (Matthew 28:19). He could have said, "Be fruitful and multiply," which is exactly what they did.

Think for a moment about why little girls want to grow up and become mommies. We want to cuddle and care for, rear and raise, share and shape, teach and train. We want to pour our love into another human being in the hopes that they will give that same love in return.  

God has created women with a desire to nurture, but I think it goes much deeper than just having children. Most long to invest their lives in something that matters. Most of the time, that something is other people. The Bible calls that being fruitful. Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit," (John 15:5).  He also tells us that the true sign of a Christian is that he or she will bear fruit (John 15:8).

Sometimes when our dreams of motherhood are shattered, we have to let them die and allow God to birth other dreams in our lives. As Dr. Pamela Reeves wrote in Parables of the Forrest, it is as if He is saying to us, "When you are letting go, remember that I am planting seeds of new life in you. Your grief is only for a season. My end is not death. It is always life. I am the author of life." Whether it is the dream of having one child, the dream of having seven children, or the dream that a child will turn out a particular way, we must all eventually give that dream to God. 

"Be fruitful and multiply." That is something every child of God can do!

Let's Pray
Dear God, I am overwhelmed with joy today! Thank You for allowing me to be a spiritual mother. Open my eyes to those whom You would have me birth into the Kingdom and those whom You would have me nurture into maturity. What an honor! What a privilege! 
In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

When God Says "No"

April 13, 2011
When God Says "No"
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Most of us have broken dreams, but they just happen to be different ones. Yesterday I brought you along on one of mine ... the dream to be a mommy to a houseful of children.  Thank you for joining me again as we continue. While this may not have been your particular struggle, the pain of broken dreams and the hope that God wants to give is still the same.

For years, my son Steven, continued to pray that God would give us another "Jaynes baby."  He prayed it every night.  When he was about five-years-old, I thought it was time to tell him to stop. But how do you tell a child to stop praying a prayer? This was something God was going to have to do because I did not know how.

One day, Steven and I were sitting at his miniature table eating our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, have you ever thought maybe God wants you to have only one Jaynes baby?"

You can imagine my shock at this statement coming out of the blue from a near five-year-old. Once I regained my composure I answered. "Well, yes, I have thought that maybe that is the case. If it is, I am so thankful, because He has given me all I ever hoped for in a child wrapped up in one package - YOU!"

Then he cocked his little head like a robin and continued, "Well, what I think we ought to do is to keep praying until you're too old to have one.  Then we'll know that was His answer."

What a great idea!  Steven had no idea how old "too old" was, but he did know that God could do anything. If His answer was "no," he didn't have a problem with that. I told Steven "no" many times and he knew "no" did not mean, "I don't love you." "No" meant "no" because I was his parent and knew what was best for him.  I was the one having trouble with God telling me "no."

There was a song Steven used to sing that went:

My God is so big, so strong and so mighty

There's nothing my God cannot do.

The mountains are His,

The valleys are His,

The stars are His handiwork too.

My God is so big, so strong and so mighty

There's nothing my God cannot do.

The Lord taught me a great lesson that day.  Through Steven's childlike faith, I saw an example of the attitude of trust that I should have toward my heavenly Father who loves me and knows what's best, even when the answer is "no."  After all, if God said yes to every request, then He wouldn't be God at all...we would.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, help me to accept when you say "no" with the trust that You know what is best for me. Help me to become a woman that doesn't ask "Why me," but rather "What now." Thank You for taking the pieces of my broken dreams and making them into something more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. 

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

I Want to Be a Mommy

April 12, 2011

I Want to Be a Mommy

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made" (Psalm 145:13b NIV).

Friend to Friend

I can still remember cuddling, rocking and singing to my favorite baby dolls when I was a little girl. I'd love them until their nylon hair was matted, their single outfits were tattered, and their painted cheeks were marred. I'd bandage their knees, kiss their heads, and teach them important life lessons.

Most little girls dream of one day being a mommy. In the hundreds of surveys I collected for the book, 5 Dreams of Every Woman...and How God Wants to Fulfill Them, to be a mommy was the number one dream. And of all the dreams of a woman, this one can be the cause of the most pain. Not being able to have children, rebellion of the children we do have, or losing a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or untimely death can be one of the most heart wrenching experiences of a woman's life. It hits at the very core of womanhood.

After I was married, my dream to be a mother began to grow. It seemed my arms ached to have a child to nurture, love, and pour my life into. When I was twenty-six, Steve and I decided it was time to increase our family of two. We conceived on our first attempt, and nine months later, Steven Hugh Jaynes, Jr. came screaming into the world. As I nestled that baby boy with a shock of thick black hair and long Bambi-like eye lashes against my breast, I knew I was holding God's first deposit in His great plan for my life - to be a mother. I had never felt more fulfilled in my life and I was certain I was "born to bear." When Steven was about two-years-old, we began praying for baby number two.

"Steven," we explained, "God is the one who gives babies to mommies and daddies, so we are going to pray that He will send us another 'Jaynes baby' so you can have a little brother or sister." 

This sounded like a good idea to him, so he added, "And God please send mommy and daddy another 'Jaynes baby'" at the end of our family prayers each night. Conception happened so easily the first time, we thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to show Steven how God answers prayer.

Six months passed, and there was no news of another Jaynes baby on the way. Then one year passed with no news. Then two years passed with no news.  During that time we began traveling down the frustrating road of doctor visits, infertility treatments and timed intimacy (which is anything but intimate.)  We also began building our dream home with bedrooms for four children and a children's bathroom with two sinks so the brood wouldn't argue about whose turn it was. When the house was near completion, I walked from room to room. "Please Lord," I prayed, "don't let us move into this house without the hope of children to fill it."  My heart felt as empty as those bedrooms that seemingly would have no children occupying them.

God did not answer my prayer as I had hoped. After many years of infertility treatment and heart-wrenching, faith-filled prayer, the children's bedrooms remained empty, the blankets unruffled, and the dream unfulfilled. It appeared there would be no more children. While Steven was everything I could have ever hoped for wrapped up in one package, my desire to have a houseful of little ones was not God's will. Was I thankful for the child I did have?  Absolutely, but that did not negate the desire in my heart to be a mother of many.

Sometimes life doesn't turn out like we had hoped, but let me assure you of this: "The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made" (Psalm 145:13 NIV). Join me tomorrow as I continue the lessons learned through my journey of infertility.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, sometimes life just doesn't turn out like I thought it would, but I am trusting You.  I know that You know what is best for me.  I know that You have great plans and dreams for my life that I could never even imagine.  Help me to see Your plan and listen to Your voice.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Meeting Henry

11 Apr 2011

Holly Good, Assistant to Lysa TerKeurst

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3 (NIV)

Devotion:
He sat across the aisle from me, talking to himself. I had boarded a plane very early one morning in TX, after a weekend women’s conference where I was serving with Lysa. I casually glanced over at him and thought, “Oh boy, this will be interesting.” And I closed my eyes to settle in.

After several minutes, he realized he was in the wrong seat. He jumped up, grabbed his belongings and crossed the aisle to join me. And once again, I thought, “Oh boy, here we go.”

I was a bit nervous to be honest. We exchanged pleasantries and I closed my eyes again, waiting for the plane to take off. He continued to mumble to himself as he looked out his window.

Several more minutes passed. I tried to fall asleep. And then finally, deep in my heart I felt compelled to talk to my seat mate, even though there was still a part of me that begged for my eyes to remain closed; shut off in my comfort zone.

“Tell me about yourself,” I reluctantly smiled.

He told me his name was Henry. Then he started asking me just as many questions as I was asking him. With every answer I gave, he would kindly respond, “Well that sounds good.”

I looked around somewhat apologetically as Henry continued to dialogue with me in a very loud tone.

It was then that I profoundly felt three words rush into my mind, “This is Me.”

I stopped. I pondered. I swallowed. And I blinked.

“You, Lord?” I hesitantly questioned.

“This is Me,” I gently but clearly sensed again. And then, “Look at Me.”

I reflected for a moment and remembered, “‘…I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40.

My perspective abruptly softened. I looked at Henry with inquisitive eyes as he chatted away. I examined every detail on his face. I noticed his scruffy beard and bushy eyebrows and I looked deep into his eyes, which he told me did not work very well.

Henry was traveling to attend his grandmother’s funeral several states away. He was about to see his father, whom he hadn’t had contact with in 25 years. As our conversation unfolded, I learned that Henry had been born with a birth defect called Poland Syndrome. He had a small left hand with fingers that didn’t move and permanent paralysis in the upper left side of his body. He dropped out of high school several years earlier because students were not nice to him.

I listened with interest as we talked about his love of computers. I was captivated by his knowledge, and continued with a long list of questions. We happily shared my granola snack over an animated conversation as he talked and I listened.

All of my previous inhibitions had completely vanished.

The last words Henry spoke to me were, “People never talk to me like you have.”

I blinked back tears as I helped him read his connecting boarding pass. I gently smiled goodbye. But my heart was sad as we got off the plane. You see, I knew how close I was to being like everyone else. So very close. And how many times in the past I was like everyone else.

I had ministered to women the entire weekend, but I was resistant to talk to the fragile soul right beside me, begging for attention.

Meeting Henry changed me that day.

Meeting Henry taught me to pray daily for eyes to see deeper, ears to listen more intently and a heart to humbly embrace new perspectives.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord. I want to see others the way You do. Because when I do, I learn.

And the more I learn, the more I am drawn closer to the One who created it all.

Who might be your Henry today?

Dear Lord, I want to know You more. Help me to see beyond my normal routine and humbly embrace those around me with a desire to learn. Please teach me Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Drowning In or Drowning Out Distractions?

8 Apr 2011

Karen Ehman

“I will listen to what God the LORD will say;
he promises peace to his people, his saints —
but let them not return to folly.”
Psalm 85:8 (NIV)

I am the lightest of sleepers. And being awakened at night by noises is often a disastrous recipe for exhaustion. That’s why I love my white noise machine; a round, little electronic contraption that sits beside my bed. It’s my nightly sanity-saver.

Before I obtained this clever contraption, I lost sleep due to a snoring spouse or midnight-snacking teenager. As a result, I was cranky and cantankerous; frazzled and fruitless. As a sleep-deprived soul, I became unproductive, easily distracted and down-right ineffective at life.

Thankfully, now my nocturnal helper ushers me quickly to la-la land (and allows me to stay there) with one of its many options: waves crashing, birds chirping, or a thunderstorm gently rolling in. The steady, constant stream of soothing sound magically drowns out any background distractions.

I have found the same to be true with our spiritual lives. If we want to focus on the importance of listening to God though prayer, Bible study and time simply sitting still before Him, we must drown out all distractions.

When our screaming schedules, messy houses, unpaid bills, or idle pastimes such as television or the Internet aren’t intentionally blocked for a time, we will never reach the important stage of resting and receiving direction from God each day.

Jesus Himself was a master at drowning out distractions. A quick read through the New Testament will find Him often withdrawing to a lonely corner, getting up early to pray or locating a place of calm focus amidst a clanging throng of people.

Jesus purposed to find peace among the pandemonium.

Likewise in the Old Testament, the Psalmists often list peace, calm, and quiet as gifts given to those who earnestly seek the Lord and desire to walk in His ways.

Embedded in today’s key verse is such a promise to us as well: peace to God’s people. But the precursor to experiencing that peace is listening to what the Lord has to say. And for listening to occur, we have to be able to actually hear from God, focused and free from all that clamors for our attention.

So, just as I plug in my slumber device each night, we must also unplug for a time each day. Shut off the phone; the TV; the laptops and iPads. Ignore the dishes, the paperwork and the screaming schedules so we can drift off to a peaceful place where sweet Jesus is waiting — desiring for us to be still and listen long enough to actually hear Him speak to our hearts.

Drowning in so many daily distractions can keep us from hearing God’s voice. Let’s purpose together to drown out our distractions instead, and tune in to the life-giving Word. He is the only steady source from which we can ever find true and lasting peace.

Dear Lord, give me courage to unplug, determination to focus and patience to listen. I want to bask in Your peace and walk in Your ways. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.