Arise from the Wreckage

Arise from the Wreckage
Micca Monda Campbell

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose” Romans 8:28 (KJV)

I’d read the book of Acts before and honestly, it fell dull and familiar as I read again. But when I came to chapter nine, something new jumped out at me. I began to see the word “rejection,” although it was not in written form. Perhaps I saw what I was feeling that day—rejected.

I was reading at the part of the story where Saul, a murderer, had just been transformed into Paul, a disciple of Christ. Even though Paul was a changed person, many rejected him because of his past reputation and lifestyle.

Not only that, but as Paul became fully devoted to serving Christ—sacrificing his education, his life, and remaining single so he could better serve the Lord—he was falsely accused, thrown into prison more than once and shipwrecked on several occasions. Doesn’t that seem odd for a man called of God? Wouldn’t God’s favor protect him from such adversity?

I thought about an illness that had lingered with me for months. It was so severe I was all but bed-ridden week after week, unable to do life and ministry. I had felt rejected by God. It didn’t make sense. I was serving Him in more ways than I could count. Then, without warning, strong winds came and ushered what felt like a storm into my life. Clouds hung overhead and before I knew it, I felt “shipwrecked.”

Perhaps, you’ve been there, too. Maybe you’ve been rejected by family, friends, and co-workers. Or you’ve been falsely accused. Maybe you’re imprisoned by finances, or being blown around by the consequences of someone else’s sin?

It seems so unfair. You’ve tried to live right. You walk in obedience the best you can. You take God at His Word and trust in His promises. Shouldn’t faith like this call for smooth sailing, instead of stormy, shipwrecking seas?

If we follow Paul’s journey, we find God working through the rejection, the trials, the prison time, and the shipwrecks. Paul shared the gospel with the Pharisees through his rejection and imprisonment. People saw God’s power at work when Paul survived the storms, when the snake bite didn’t kill him, and when the jail shook—opening doors and loosing chains.

Paul didn’t let his circumstances wreck him with a sense of rejection. He didn’t allow self-pity and doubt to overtake him. Instead, we see in Acts 16:22-31 that after being stripped, beaten, severely flogged, thrown in the inner cell of a prison and his feet in stocks, Paul prayed and sang hymns to God. And others around him were listening. The power of God came in such a way that the prison guard begged Paul to tell him, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” He replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus” (vs. 30b-31, NIV).

God kept His promise to work all things together for the good of this man who loved Him and was called according to His purposes. As Paul depended on God and trusted His faithfulness in the midst of his adversity, many witnessed God’s power and believed.

And the same is true for us. God doesn’t waste our pain, our rejection or our “shipwrecks.” He uses them to bring about His plan—to position us so that others can see His transforming power at work in our lives and believe in the living God.

If that’s true, and it is, then our challenge is to rise from the wreckage, like Paul, so that our lives will give testimony that draws others to the Jesus. Today I will no longer sit on the sidelines of life full of self-pity. I choose to rise, pray and praise, so that God can position me to shine for His glory, and so that others will believe.

Dear Lord, forgive me for wallowing in self-pity and rejection. I trust that You see the bigger picture. I believe there is a purpose for my pain. Strengthen me to rise from my ashes so that others will see You are my help and my salvation. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I Need a Friend - Part 1

I Need a Friend

Part 1

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her (Ruth 1:16-18, NIV).

Friend To Friend

Friendship is the catalyst for every other love and the foundation of every healthy relationship.  In his book, "The Broken Heart", Dr. James J. Lynch shows that lonely people live significantlyshorter lives than the general population. In other words, God created us to need each other.  We need friends. 

I know what you are thinking. Everyone knows that having close friends is risky business. While attending seminary, one of my professors told me that, as a pastor's wife, I would never be able to have close friends in the church. I didn't believe him then. And I don't believe him now.  

I have been a woman in ministry for many years and my best friends have always been with women in the church where I ministered. Have I been burned? Yes. Have I been betrayed and disappointed? Yes. Has it been worth it? Absolutely! It is my prayer that over the next few weeks, we will catch God's plan and purpose for the friendships in our lives. But before launching into this study, there are three friendship facts we must first understand and accept.

Fact 1:  Friendships have many different levels. There are friends we see occasionally and then there are soul-mates with whom we share everything. There is a place for both in our lives.

Fact 2:  Friendships may change with the seasons of life. We are naturally drawn to women who face the same problems and share the same dreams.  

Fact 3:  We all need friends. Friendship is part of God's plan for our lives.  

Jesus placed great value on relationships. The Bible tells us that He spent much of His time deepening relationships with a few - not the crowds. His teachings are filled with practical suggestions on how to be a friend and how to have healthy relationships. One of the most beautiful portraits of friendship is found in the book of Ruth. It is the story of Naomi, a godly woman, a wife and the mother of two married sons.  

Naomi's husband and sons died, leaving three women alone, Naomi and her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah. Because they had neither food nor money and no certainty of what the future might hold, Naomi chose to return to Bethlehem, her homeland. On the way, Naomi suddenly stopped to tell Ruth and Orpah that they should return to their homes in Moab because there, they would have the chance to marry again. Both Ruth and Orpah protested but Naomi was insistent. Finally, Orpah gave in and returned home, but Ruth would not leave Naomi, her mother-in-law and friend. Noami was amazed at the loyalty Ruth offered and together, they made the trip to Bethlehem. Interestingly, it was there that Ruth met and married Boaz. They had a son named Obed, who later became the grandfather of King David. Ruth, a gentile from Moab, became part of the family line of Jesus. Why? Ruth was a loyal friend. Wouldn't you like to have a friend like that? Wouldn't you like to be a friend like that? The lives of Ruth and Naomi offer nine keys to healthy and vital friendships.   

First Key: Time

Ruth says, "Where you go I will go. Where you stay I will stay." Ruth was willing to commit her life and time in friendship. Friendship doesn't just happen. True friendship takes consistent investments of time. Time spent together in friendship creates a memory bank from which we can make withdrawals when tough times come and we need encouragement. Time is a priceless gift and one of the most powerful communicators of love. When we are willing to give 30 minutes of time, we are actually giving 30 minutes of life. Ruth was willing to sacrifice her entire life agenda for the sake of her friendship with Naomi.  

We live in a "quick-fix" world that often fails to understand or address the relationship truth that it takes time to build a friendship. It is so easy for women to fill every time slot of every day with activity, leaving little or no room for friends. The waters of daily life are often difficult to navigate.  True friends are willing to get in the boat and ride out the storm with us.  

We tend to spend time instead of investing it. The depth of the friendship depends upon the investment of time we can make or the investment of time we are willing to make. I have a friend, Michelle Johnson, who is the perfect example of a friend who was willing to invest time in our relationship. Michelle and I first met at a church where she and her husband were small group teachers while Dan was the youth pastor. We were not especially close because our paths rarely crossed. But when Dan was called to be the pastor of a nearby church, Michelle and her family joined us in ministry. Our children were in school together and we were both involved in women's ministry. As our paths crossed more frequently, we became friends. Then, during a two-year battle with clinical depression, we moved into the neighborhood where Michelle and Jay lived. Michelle made a choice. She chose to invest large chunks of time, walking with me through those dark years. As a result, her friendship is beyond measure in my life. Friendships take time.

Let's Pray

Father, I want to thank You for being the ultimate Friend. You have never let me down or turned away from me - even when I have turned away from You. Please help me be the kind of friend You want me to be so that Your love can flow through me in my relationships. Teach me how to invest time wisely so that each friendship is a living illustration of Your love.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Care Enough to Confront

Care Enough to Confront

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6, NIV).

Friend To Friend

One of the basic needs of every healthy relationship is the art of confrontation. To confront someone is to meet them head-on in the quest for compromise. Confrontation is an emotional tackle for the purpose of resolving conflict while promoting peace. Just as God separates us from our sin, He calls us to do the same with sandpaper people. We must disconnect who they are from what they do, loving the sinner but hating the sin, looking beyond their weaknesses in search of their strengths. 

Most people I know hate confrontation and will do anything to avoid it, but in doing so, give the impression that they are content with the status quo. It is important for us to understand that silence is agreement. Confrontation is a gift we bring to every healthy relationship as well as the unhealthy relationships with which we struggle. Confrontation is a spiritual surgery that tends to be painful. But without it, the cancer of contention and discord will remain unfettered, free to grow and spread its deadly relationship poison. 

When we have one nerve left and our sandpaper person is romping on it, we tend to confront in anger, from pain and frustration, with little control. The explosion can be heard for miles around.  Healthy confrontation does not involve a weapon of any kind - verbal or non-verbal. We speak honestly but gently. Confrontation that is wrapped in gentle love is powerful!

When my husband became a pastor, we both struggled with maintaining a balanced schedule.  It was easy for Dan to work six or seven nights a week. The church was exploding in growth and a crisis was always on the agenda. Being the precious and loving wife that I am, I confronted Dan - not in love and not with gentleness. It did not work. I decided to back off and let God work. 

One afternoon, while preparing dinner, Dan called to say that one of the church members had just been admitted to the hospital with chest pains. Dan was planning to drop by the hospital, which meant that he would be late - again. He promised to make his hospital visit short and be home as soon as he could. When Danna strolled through the kitchen, checking out the dinner menu, she asked when her dad was coming home. I explained the situation but assured her that Dan would be home as soon as he could. She seemed satisfied with my explanation and headed for the family room. As I set the table, I overheard Danna calling the church office. Then I heard her childlike but powerful words of confrontation, "Dad, please come home. I don't like it when you have to work late. I know that man in the hospital needs you, but there are lots of doctors there. I only have one daddy and it makes me sad when you are not here. I need to see you with my eyes." Dan called one of our deacons who jumped at the chance to visit someone in the hospital and Dan came home. 

Every relationship in life improves with confrontation done the right way. In fact, the harder the truth, the more love we must use in sharing it, especially when it comes to sharing truth with sandpaper people. Here are some simple tips for effective confrontation done the right way:

1. Always begin confrontation with affirmation. Encouraging words set the stage and prepare the heart to hear words of correction. 
2. Be willing to take your part of the blame. I have lived long enough to know that no conflict is ever totally one-sided. Taking your share of the blame often diffuses anger.
3. Express hurt...not hostility. It is important to keep emotions under control during confrontation. Volume negates listening. Raised voices and angry words slam the door shut on any possible good that can come from confrontation. Sandpaper people rarely realize the depth of the pain they inflict.
4. Make clear, direct statements. When facing confrontation, I will often write down what I plan to say; then read it aloud. I can then go back and eliminate unnecessary comments, inflammatory words or vengeful statements. Stick to the facts. 
5. Avoid using words like "never" and "always." These words are untrue and accomplish little in a confrontation. For some reason, they tend to stir up emotions and fan emotional fires. 
6. Listen. One of my favorite tactics in confrontations is to use the time the other person is speaking to formulate my next point. As a result, I don't listen because I assume I already know what will be said. Difficult conversations require total attention. Listening validates people and invites them into your life. Refusing to listen is arrogant and self-centered.
7. Be solution centered. Make the decision beforehand to stay at the table of confrontation until a solution is found and some measure of restoration is achieved. It is so easy to go for the "let's get this over with" conversation instead of getting to the heart of the problem.

The sandpaper people in your life are likely to be confronted on a regular basis. But because that confrontation usually comes from an unclean heart and an angry spirit, it can easily become just another notch in that sandpaper person's belt, giving them one more reason to be who they are - difficult. When love and gentleness deliver correction, it is much more likely to be received and acted upon. We can be caring and confronting at the same time. Most sandpaper people are controllers and manipulators, intimidating their way into other people's lives, because it is the only way they know to get in. Confrontation is a spiritual exercise and an act of obedience to God that changes lives and builds healthy relationships.  

Let's Pray

Father, please forgive me when I confront someone in anger or with a bitter heart. I really do want my relationships to reflect Your love. Teach me how to control the words I say and the attitude with which I say them. Forgive me for the pride that fuels a spirit of revenge when I should be seeking healing and restoration. Be glorified in all of my relationships, Lord.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Unlovable

Unlovable
Samantha Reed

    “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” Song of Solomon 8:7a (NIV 1984)

“I’m unlovable.”

How many times has this thought consumed your mind? It swirls powerfully, like muddy rapids. Thrashing heart and mind round and round like a toy boat in a damaging river of doubt, fear and lies.

The “I’m unlovable” thought often tosses us from one painful situation to the next.

Rejection from a parent leads to a heart desperate to fill the void that leads to an unloving abusive relationship. A broken heart is patched up with food that leads to weight gain that makes us feel less than beautiful and unworthy of love.

The bruised parts of our hearts can lead us down dark alleys littered with regrets and sadness.

I don’t assume to know the tongue lashings, torturous words or deeds, and taunts you’ve endured. I don’t know what rejections, rudeness, or raw aches have slayed your heart. I don’t know what choices you’ve made—what choices were made for you—that pushed you into the roaring rush of this river that tries to drag you down with lies and pain.

I only know this—you will drown in that river unless you grab hold of this safety rope: You are loveable.

Yes. You. You are loveable.

There is an all loving Creator who is sovereign. This is a big word with bigger meaning: all powerful. He had the choice to concoct you in His mind. He had the option to create you. He had the wherewithal to call you by name. He didn’t have to.

He could have said,
Nah, I know how that one turns out.

Depression and doubts are her go-to’s instead of Me.
Guys are allowed to violate her body.
Her marriage falls apart.
Her relationship with her parents isn’t good.
Her kids can’t stand her.
She’s frumpy.
She’s not worthy of My time or talent.
She’s not lovable.

But He didn’t. No.

Instead, He said,
I know how that one turns out.
She trusts me despite her teetering emotions and difficult circumstances.
She redeems her past to inspire purity in young girls.
She encourages and invests in other’s marriages.
It’s My delight to be her Father and call her My daughter.
Her knees hit the ground in fervent prayer for her children.

She’s beautiful.
She’s worthy of my Son’s life and death.
She’s so lovable, I call her Mine and nothing she does—nothing that happens to her—can take My love from her.

I don’t know why you don’t feel you’re lovable. Or what lies come trying to convince you that your past, your actions, your shame, your guilt disqualifies you from love.

What I do know is this: you are worthy of love. You are loveable. And you are qualified as a child of God. But don’t take my word. Take His…

This is what the LORD says: ‘[Insert your name] who survives [insert what makes you feel unlovable] will find favor in the desert; I will come to give rest to [her].’ The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build [Insert your name] up again and you will be rebuilt.’” (Jeremiah 31:2-4a, NIV 1984)

    Dear Lord, I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Thank You for knowing me fully and loving me completely. Please help me know…truly know…I am loveable. Thank You for the freedom You give from the hurt and lies. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The Brave Friendship of God

My Utmost For His Highest 

The Brave Friendship of God

from Oswald Chambers

He took the twelve aside . . . —Luke 18:31

Oh, the bravery of God in trusting us! Do you say, “But He has been unwise to choose me, because there is nothing good in me and I have no value”? That is exactly why He chose you. As long as you think that you are of value to Him He cannot choose you, because you have purposes of your own to serve. But if you will allow Him to take you to the end of your own self-sufficiency, then He can choose you to go with Him “to Jerusalem” (Luke 18:31). And that will mean the fulfillment of purposes which He does not discuss with you.

We tend to say that because a person has natural ability, he will make a good Christian. It is not a matter of our equipment, but a matter of our poverty; not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a matter of natural virtues, of strength of character, of knowledge, or of experience— all of that is of no avail in this concern. The only thing of value is being taken into the compelling purpose of God and being made His friends (see 1 Corinthians 1:26-31). God’s friendship is with people who know their poverty. He can accomplish nothing with the person who thinks that he is of use to God. As Christians we are not here for our own purpose at all— we are here for the purpose of God, and the two are not the same. We do not know what God’s compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him. We must never allow anything to damage our relationship with God, but if something does damage it, we must take the time to make it right again. The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the surrounding influence and qualities produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack.

Changing the Way We Speak By Renewing the Mind

Changing the Way We Speak By  Renewing the Mind

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians 4:8-9 TNIV). 

Friend To Friend

Have you ever been to a rodeo and watched a lassoing contest? The little calf bursts from the stall and then the cowboy and his steed follow close behind. With his lasso in hand, the cowboy swings the rope in the air and attempts to lasso the little heifer before she escapes out the corral door at the opposite side of the arena. That is a vivid picture of what we must do with the words that attempt to escape the gate, the mouth...we must rein them in.

The Bible teaches us to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:3-5). Once we lasso a thought (take it captive) we can decide which words leave the gate and which words need to be tied up and secured. Studies show that we speak at about 120 to 180 words a minute. Seems like we need to do a bit more lassoing and a lot less running on.

Let's take a look at this little heifer: our words, and how to rein them in. First, a thought bursts forth from the stall called the brain. It runs across the mind headed for the door called the mouth. In a split second, we must determine if that thought is of God or if it is against the knowledge of God. If we determine that the words are not of God, then we lasso the thought with the Word of Truth and it never makes its way out of the gate (the mouth). If it passes the God-test, we allow it to go free.

What is the lasso? It is the Word of God-the Word of Truth. That can seem a bit overwhelming, so let's just pick one verse as our lasso. Philippians 4:8,9 is a great place to start. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you" (TNIV). 

Before we speak, we can sift the words through a mental sieve. Is what I'm about to say:

• True
• Noble
• Right
• Pure
• Lovely
• Admirable

If the words don't fit this description, lasso them and don't let them go! If they do pass the test, let them trot out of the gate and bless the world!

The King James translation of 2 Corinthians 10:5 says it this way: "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." I like that picture of casting down. See, once the cowboy slips the lasso around the calf's neck, he throws her to the ground and whips that rope around her kicking legs to make sure she's not going anywhere. Likewise, we need to "cast down" those thoughts back to the dirt where they came from and make sure they aren't going anywhere.

Let's Pray

Dear LORD, sometimes I just can't believe what comes out of my mouth. Help me to think before I speak. If the words that are about to come out of my mouth are not pleasing to You or edifying to others, help me to rein them in and keep them from escaping my lips.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Whose Voice Do You Hear?

Whose Voice Do You Hear? Mary Southerland   Today's Truth My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me (John 10:27, NIV). Friend To Friend Dan and I had been married one year when we moved to Fort Worth, Texas, so Dan could attend seminary. I desperately wanted a teaching job, but none was available. Instead I was hired as a secretary in an insurance office. It was definitely not my idea of a dream job, but I had a plan. Every day, on my lunch hour, I call the school district's personnel office to ask, "Do you have a job or me yet?" After several weeks, a frustrated voice finally responded with the words I had been longing to hear. "Mary, will you teach anything anywhere?" she asked. Finally! I jumped at the job offer and made an appointment to visit my new classroom that afternoon. The principal escorted me up a flight of stairs, pointed to a door, and said, "That's your classroom. Good luck!" With a knowing smile, he turned and walked away...quickly. Stepping into the classroom, I froze at the astonishing sight before me. Some children were jumping on desks while others crawled under tables, all screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs. Paper and food littered the floor. In the corner sat an obviously frazzled substitute teacher, who was desperately trying to gain control of her students...uh, make that my students. The classroom was in total chaos. My first thought was, "What have I gotten myself into?" The next few weeks certainly answered that question. Each classroom was arranged in learning centers instead of desks. The students moved from center to center as they completed assignments, a plan that naturally invited noise. I learned that because of overcrowding, each teacher had been asked to select two children to form a new classroom...my classroom...and of course, each teacher had chosen his or her two most difficult students.  The first few weeks were a nightmarish battle for control. After losing my voice twice, my sister, Betty, a veteran first grade teacher, gave me some great advice. "The louder you are, the louder the children will be. If you want to get their attention, speak softly so they will have to be quiet in order to hear your voice." I put her advice into action the very next day. As the children entered the classroom, I greeted each one with a silent smile. In my hands was a brightly wrapped box. Curious, they asked, "What is that, Mrs. Southerland?" I merely smiled and said nothing until every student was quietly seated. "I have a new plan," I began. "Sometime during the day, I will call your name once. If you hear my voice, you may choose one prize from our new prize box. If you don't hear my voice, you will miss the opportunity to select a prize and I will call another student's name." It worked like a charm! In a matter of days, my students learned to listen for my voice above all others.  Stress comes when we allow the many voices in life to drown out the only voice that really matters, the voice of God. We can't obey every voice we hear. If we try, we will end up in total failure, carrying a heavy load we were never created to carry. Obedience to God is not a heavy load because we don't have to carry it alone. God's strength and power bear the burden of our obedience to Him. The more time we spend in God's Word and in prayer, the easier it will be to recognize His voice.  Let's Pray Father, I come to You today, wanting and needing to hear Your voice. I am drowning in the expectations of others and am so confused about the next step I need to take. Please give me Your direction and the strength to follow Your plan for my life. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Don't Do It

Don't Do It

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"Flee from sexual immorality...Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God. You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body" (1 Corinthians 6:18, 19-20 NIV).

Friend To Friend

Can I talk girlfriend to girlfriend for just a moment? It's about a very uncomfortable subject, and honestly, one most of us would rather pretend does not exist in "Christian circles." It's sexual sin. 

In my last devotion, we stood road-side and looked at the story of the woman caught in adultery, and Jesus who set her free. Even though she wasn't behind prison bars, she was in bondage to a sinful lifestyle. Sexual sin is highly addictive and the search for love in all the wrong places, insatiable. It is a drink that never satisfies the soul and leaves the partaker only thirsty for more. 

A woman is enticed by a syrupy word from a co-worker, an e-mail from an old boyfriend, an invitation on Facebook, or an alluring smile at a neighborhood gathering. Loneliness fills the room and passion comes knocking at the door. But when the smoke clears, loneliness returns with new hunger pangs laced with regret.

Sex outside of marriage can lead to many things: unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, divorce, mistrust, regret, shame, loss of family and a whole list of undesirable dominos that tumble in succession. But in Jesus' day, a woman caught in the act of adultery faced possible execution. In some parts of the world it is still enforced today. So why would the woman we meet in John Chapter 8 who was caught in the act of adultery take the risk? Was it worth it? No. The answer is always no.

There is no greater longing in the heart of a woman than to be loved, cherished, and cared for. It can cause the strongest to break a resolve and succumb to the tempter's lure. 

Adultery has been the cause for church leaders to crumble, ministries to meltdown, and families to falter. Sexual sin has caused the most sensible to act like a fool, the most moral to march into madness, the most devout to be devoured by desire. The desire to love and be loved can sometimes scream over the din of reason.

The yearning for love gnaws at the heart. And then the brush of a hand, the glimpse of the eyes, or the stirring of a comment blows on a spark and sets it ablaze. Loneliness echoes in the hollow soul just as passion comes scratching at the door. Never doubt this, my friend: Satan is an opportunist who takes advantage of the lonely heart (Luke 4:13).

To be loved is one of the strongest desires of the human heart. God planned it that way because He longs for us to have that longing filled by a relationship with Him. But so many settle for a sip from the rusty tin cup when God offers an everlasting stream.

A woman can risk it all for a few moments of passion. She can lie to herself that a sexual relationship or liaison is love. Then after the brief pleasure lies exposed by the morning sun, she realizes what felt like love was tainted with the poison of shame. It can happen. It does happen. It did happen to the woman standing before Jesus with an angry mob of rock holding Pharisees gathered around. It has happened to many women who e-mail me every day.

I sat in a movie theater with a friend who had succumbed to sexual temptation. She had lost her husband, her family, and many of her "friends." During a preview for another movie, the film showed a woman contemplating an affair with a suave Frenchman. Martha (not her real name) spoke a bit too loudly for the moviegoers sitting in the darkened theater. "Don't do it," she cried aloud. The words came out of her mouth before she could stop them. Martha was living the devastation of yielding to sexual temptation, and her audible cry was the overflow of her pain-filled heart.

Can I shout with Martha for just a moment? "Don't do it!" 

I know this devotion is not for everybody. But if there is one woman out of the 200,000 or so that receive our Girlfriends in God devotions every day...just one woman who will turn away from the temptation that is knocking on her door today, then it is worth it.

Don't do it. Turn to God and allow Him to fill the emptiness in your heart today. He's waiting with open arms.

Let's Pray

Dear God, I pray that I will be alert to the devil's schemes today. Help me to see when and where he is tempting me to sin against You. Give me the strength to flee temptation and run straight into Your arms. I cannot do this on my own. I need the power of Your Holy Spirit to empower me to do what is right and good in Your sight. Thank You for being all that I need.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Are You Ready for a Do-Over?

Are You Ready for a Do-Over?
Glynnis Whitwer

“Then the word of the LORD came to Jonah a second time: ‘Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.’” Jonah 3:1-2 (NIV)

Do-overs don’t come along often. When they do, I’ve learned you need to be ready. One second it’s a normal Sunday night, the next second God hands you a do-over on a silver platter.

That weekend my youngest son Robbie and my husband went to Rocky Point, Mexico, on a short mission trip. A team of nurses set up a weekend medical clinic, and my guys spent the day assisting the team, and playing games with the waiting children.

They had a great time and arrived home for dinner with the family on Sunday. Robbie helped me clean the kitchen afterwards, while we talked about the trip. My husband had already told me Robbie loved it, and bragged on how hard he worked. But at that moment it was just me and Robbie in the kitchen.

Robbie had his back to me, washing a counter. In a voice that sounded somewhat shaking and unsure, I heard him say, “I think I found my calling.”

My response that Sunday night was VERY different than it would have been seven years ago. Seven years ago, if Robbie had made that same comment, shamefully, I would not have been very supportive.

ALL I would have thought about is how far away that might take the boy I desperately love. I would have thrown in a few “motherly” cautions and warnings. I might have expressed my concern not so much in words, but in held back affirmations. I’ve done it before.

Seven years ago, when his oldest brother wanted to go to Honduras at age 13, that’s how I responded. He’d already gone to Mexico on a mission trip and it deeply shook his little suburban-self up. He wanted to pursue mission work and was excited about the idea of Honduras. I never said no, but in subtle ways, I influenced my loving son by what I said and didn’t say. Josh eventually dropped the subject.

I’m ashamed. I’ve repented with many tears. I’ve regretted how I allowed my fears to hold back my son from obeying God’s calling. I’ve lived with the “what ifs” for years. What if I had encouraged Josh to explore this potential calling? What would it have done in Josh’s heart?

Sunday night, Robbie got a very different response. This time, I had to restrain my enthusiasm so he didn’t feel embarrassed by my emotional response. A second chance had just been placed in my lap, and I wasn’t about to mess it up.

“That’s awesome!” I said. Then I stopped cleaning and turned to face him. “Have you thought about another trip you’d like to take? The church sponsors lots of trips, you know.” (I could feel myself getting excited, and tried to rein myself in.)

“I’d like to go back to Mexico.”

“What about Uganda or Honduras?” I suggested. (I was having trouble reining myself in.)

“I think I’d like to try Mexico again before taking a bigger trip.” (Okay, so he’s still got a bit of me in him.)

“Robbie,” I said, making sure he saw the confidence and pride in my eyes. “We will do whatever it takes to allow you to go on any mission trip you want.”

“Thanks Mom.”

And in my heart I heard a whisper, Thanks Glynnis.

I smiled as I turned back to the dishes and bowed my head. No, thank You Lord, for a second chance.

Dear Lord, that You for forgiving me for the times I’ve allowed my fears to hold my loved ones back from obeying Your call. I want to be a woman who trusts You completely with the lives of my family. Help me to walk in faithful abandon, believing fully that You know what You are doing. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

20 Ways to Lose Friends and Influence

20 Ways to Lose Friends and Influence

By Bob. Filed

Pastor David Murray at Head, Heart, Hand recently posted a summary of Marshall Goldsmith’s work. You can read David’s post at How to Lose Friends and Not Influence Anyone. 

David’s post also linked to Failure to Communicate which provides the following 20 behaviors that will ensure that we lose friends and influence.

1. Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations.

2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our 2 cents to every discussion.

3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.

4. Making destructive comments: The needless sarcasm and cutting remarks that we think make us witty.

5. Starting with NO, BUT, HOWEVER: The overuse of these negative qualifiers, which secretly say to everyone that I’m right and you’re wrong.

6. Telling the world how smart we are: The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are.

7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool.

8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren’t asked.

9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.

10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to give praise and reward.

11. Claiming credit that that we don’t deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contributions to any success.

12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.

13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.

14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.

15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.

16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.

17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners.

18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.

19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves.

20. An excessive need to be “me:” Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are.

So What?

Since we all tend to be blind to our own sins and selfish ways of relating, Goldsmith suggests how to use this list to start winning friends, influencing everyone and achieving breakthrough measurable results are as follows:

1. Select four stakeholders, including the managing partner, a partner, another associate, and a staff person, who want you to succeed but who will be candid with you.

2. Have them check off behaviors on the list that you are guilty of; next ask them to rank, from most problematic to least problematic, those behaviors that get in the way of their working productively with you.

3. Finally, when two or more of your stakeholders agree on certain particularly egregious behaviors, comment to them that you will change one behavior at a time going forward and that you would like to check in with them periodically regarding your progress and for additional suggestions to improve upon.

4. The proof that you have really changed only comes when your stakeholders agree that you have changed those behaviors and are sustaining those changes.

The Teaching of Disillusionment

My Utmost For His Highest 

The Teaching of Disillusionment
from Oswald Chambers

Jesus did not commit Himself to them . . . , for He knew what was in man —John 2:24-25

Disillusionment means having no more misconceptions, false impressions, and false judgments in life; it means being free from these deceptions. However, though no longer deceived, our experience of disillusionment may actually leave us cynical and overly critical in our judgment of others. But the disillusionment that comes from God brings us to the point where we see people as they really are, yet without any cynicism or any stinging and bitter criticism. Many of the things in life that inflict the greatest injury, grief, or pain, stem from the fact that we suffer from illusions. We are not true to one another as facts, seeing each other as we really are; we are only true to our misconceived ideas of one another. According to our thinking, everything is either delightful and good, or it is evil, malicious, and cowardly.

Refusing to be disillusioned is the cause of much of the suffering of human life. And this is how that suffering happens— if we love someone, but do not love God, we demand total perfection and righteousness from that person, and when we do not get it we become cruel and vindictive; yet we are demanding of a human being something which he or she cannot possibly give. There is only one Being who can completely satisfy to the absolute depth of the hurting human heart, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. Our Lord is so obviously uncompromising with regard to every human relationship because He knows that every relationship that is not based on faithfulness to Himself will end in disaster. Our Lord trusted no one, and never placed His faith in people, yet He was never suspicious or bitter. Our Lord’s confidence in God, and in what God’s grace could do for anyone, was so perfect that He never despaired, never giving up hope for any person. If our trust is placed in human beings, we will end up despairing of everyone.